If you’ve paid any attention to the olds recently (why) you might have noticed they are listening more and adopting our language evolutions more quickly, despite our best attempts at preventing their understanding. The most recent completely EGREGIOUS examples were USA Today describing Kate Middleton’s hair as “on fleek” and every boug brand ever talking about bae like they even know. They don’t.

A Memo Regarding New Strategies for Dealing With Olds

I channeled all of my love for The New Yorker’s “Shouts and Murmurs” and also probably Mallory Ortberg into a silly little piece that Racked published. We’ll see how long it takes me to write again!